I’ve got a new girlfriend, but I will never introduce her to my mother. I’ve got a new job, but she will never know. My mother is dead.
If I’m honest, I don’t exactly know what to put here. I’m not a fan of only talking about “nice” things, and brush over the unpleasant experiences. On the other hand, I’m not going to spill my heart in public. And I certainly don’t want to put the usual sermon.
So, what can I say about my mother? Or, do I need to say anything at all? I could go on about the issues we had, and how they were resolved. I could point out that we were getting along well, though we weren’t always close. I could go on about our good and bad times. Or about how surreal the funeral was. How she’s missing from a lot of lives now.
All of this is important, but somehow it’d seem a little out of place here. What I can say is that, when I last saw my mother, she was entering a new part of her life. She was optimistic about it, and full of plans. All of those have been preempted. When I got to the funeral, there were lots of friends. One flew in from another continent. Even my father came, after the divorce, silently, to say goodbye.
I guess that says a lot about her.
For me there’s a lot to remember, and a lot to think about. But in this place, the only thing that I can possibly do is to say goodbye.
And that it is.