Useless kitchen utensils

Have you ever noticed that the kitchen is one of the places where you accumulate loads of those silly dust catchers? Most of them are actually useful for something, but if you look at them you wonder why you haven’t used them in two years. Of course, the one you don’t have is the one you’ll sorely miss. Here’s a small collection, in no particular order:

The pressure cooker: My pet peeve. Some people love it, I think it’s only good for cooking potatoes and I don’t eat potatoes very often. Microwave oven: No use except warming things up and exploding hamsters. How cool. Machine to vacuum-pack stuff in plastic bags: The best thing about it is that it doesn’t actually work. Electric appliances like can openers, carving knifes or bread cutters: No matter how easy the task, someone will come up with an electrical machine that will be bulky, loud and awkward to use. You can actually cut bread with a knife, you know? Non-stick pan and friends: They’d actually be quite useful, if the non-stick coating stuck to the pan. It doesn’t, and you aren’t supposed to use them on high heat either. Plus I never ever had problems cleaning a steel pan. Fryer: It’s the only proper way to fry. And you cook fried food every day, don’t you? Ceran stove: Looks cool. Looks less cool when damaged by your carelessness. Expensive to replace when it doesn’t look cool any more. Devices to slice eggs or cheese or dice onions: Oh my. If you need to, get a kitchen machine. Patrick says they break. Dull knives: How dull.

Any other ideas?
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8 thoughts on “Useless kitchen utensils

  1. You know I have a bunch of those you mentionned and while I agree that there are a lot of kitchen appliances out there that I don’t need, I am happy with those that I own. I am slowly finding out how to do lots of things without any machines. On the other hand I am using nearly everything in my kitchen regularly. Maybe not the coffee maker (not an electrical one mind you) but each time I have guests that want coffee I am happy I own one.

    And I know a lot more that I want to own. For your list: the electrical orange press? But I am actually using this. Pasta maker πŸ˜‰ and I know a lot more kitchen-gizmos that would fit that list. Maybe the vinegar and oil sprayers that are so popular and the electrical pepper grinder? The herb grinding thing?

    I couldn’t do without moulinette and electrical mixer.

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  2. How about a garlic dicer ? Actually I use it a lot, even if it is a kitchen gizmo. It prevents my fingers from stinking and it is way cool.

    I may agree with some of your points, but hey, that’s progress. Of course I can wash by hand, but it takes a lot of time, so I use a dishwasher, I could go outside into the wood to a fireplace to cook, but I prefer to use a stove, and (very rarely) even a microwave. (Even though I hate microwave ovens)

    I mean, you can do anything you want with just a few knives, a spoon and a pan, but sometimes it is just more efficient to use tools.

    P.S. You are excommunicated from the church of gizmo πŸ˜‰

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  3. You guys are picky about your kitchen gizmos, aren’t you? It’s not that I constantly worry about what people are keeping in their kitchen. If you do have the storage space and money, go ahead and buy a set of ginsu knives, oil sprayers or an electrical meat chopper if you like. I’m fully aware that much of what I wrote is a matter of style. I admit that I actually like chopping up my herbs with a knife. And I don’t think it takes longer than fumbling for the herb grinder, setting it up an cleaning it later on. But if you don’t touch an appliance for months, it’s probably a sign that you didn’t really need it. My entry was really about that there are things that help you do the job, and other things that just get in the way.

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  4. Oh, and on the topic of gizmos: The whole point of them is to be useless. Do you really think I’m using a PDA because it’s so much more useful than a paper notebook? But a least gizmos are supposed to be as small as possible, whereas a microwave oven will eat up a sizeable chunk of my kitchen for nothing.

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  5. My father owns a device for pumping air out of wine bottles to prevent oxidization of the wine if you didn’t drink it all. But when I visit my parents, we usually empty our wine bottles, and it isn’t electrical either, so it doesn’t even apply for a gizmo 😦

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  6. Hey Lex,

    where did you get your garlic dicer. My parents had one, but it broke. Now they are looking for a new one, but can’t find it anywhere. And, BTW, i might want one, too.

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  8. I got the garlic dicer in Luxembourg, but don’t know exactly where? But I have never run across one in any german shop. But maybe you can find something similar at amazon.

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