Let’s be honest: Since I’ve put up this page and especially since Sonja scolded me for not updating this page (and not using her favorite software ;-), I have been wondering what to do with it. It’s not that I’m craving to have a “blog”: My day-to-day life is surprisingly, and sometimes depressingly, mundane. When I meet distant friends and tell them what I do, it’s sometimes disappointing of how little of what I do seems really significant in hindsight.

That is not to say that my life is excrutiatingly boring, or that I’m totally unsatisfied with what I do. It’s just that we all grew up with the impression that we could make a difference – no matter how small – and now realise that doing so takes dedication. Better delay it until tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow.

I wonder if that is what all the “quaterlife crisis” tripe is all about: The realization that, if we don’t take care, we will soon sign up for a Dilbertesque future in a corporate cubicle. We’ll constantly move on, not knowing where it is that we wish to go. This is the point where people start trying to “find themselves” – as if they had mislaid their true identity, could just pull it out from under the right pile of dirty underwear and ask for directions. Others will probably give up, and just move on.
I don’t know where I’m going either, but I have some ideas on what I’d like to do on the way. I like to create things with my own hands, like this entry, a story or a piece of software. I like the feeling of helping a friend. I like to succeed where it was possible to fail. I like to know that failures will not bring me down.
And what does all of this have to do with this “blog” section of mine? The answer is, again, that I don’t know yet. I’ll just return to it when I think I’ve to say something that matters to me. And if I look back later at what I wrote, and if I still think it could be worthwile for someone to read, then the work may not have been in vain.


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